Michael - that sentence you picked out - it was like I was witnessing the pen write it as it came up from inside me, and then through me. It was one of those magical moments when there was no brain function or thinking involved.
Thank you again for your contribution to me over the past year. I'm deeply grateful.
“Mind blown” are two words that describe my mindset after reading your article. What a great gift you have been given to articulate your thoughts and feelings so well. Wowzers, I was locked in start to finish as I began reading.Thank you thank you and more Thank you’s a million times over. Coming from the Dad point of view (Yes that’s me:), what a huge blessing in my life to have you mentor and love this fun kid (I know she’s not a kid ;), that I like to call mine. I truly am grateful that God has blessed her with the opportunity to engage with you and Travis. Such great men who have totally helped in her quest of life. No question in my mind that the “life lessons” you have taught her will truly be with her forever. One day I hope to meet with you in person, shake your hand, Bro hug, and express my gratitude to you of being a great example of practicing what you preach.-Jess’s Pops:)
Russ, First, thank you for bringing Travis into the mix. He is an amazing human being full of so much love that you can't help but be more loving just being around him.
While you commented on us being mentors to Jessica, I assure you it's been mutual and equal. We learn continuously from her. I was called an old soul at a young age. I can't hold a candle to Jessica in that regard. We call her a unicorn at work - just so you know.
I look forward to that big hug someday - after all a remarkable daughter comes from remarkable parents.
This was so beautiful! Thank you so much for showing us into the window of our daughter’s life that day!
We knew this change in her life was devastating. The way you described it was as if we were there with her watching her heart break as she moves on to what she felt was right for her family.
We are so thankful she was able to work with such kind and compassionate people.
Because of your firm we know she was able to develop in ways she could only have done there.
Thank you so much for the beautiful words you shared with her on that very difficult day. They were truly inspiring!
You truly could have helped heal or break her heart at that moment.
Thank you so much for your compassionate heart! With love, Jessica’s Mom
Amy - You are so welcome. The conversation Jessica and I shared that morning was so reverent, as we discovered our way through love and pain while being in the presence of and guided by the Divine.
The opportunity during our one precious lifetime is to love and to spread our love. And then while spreading love, to receive it as well.
Jessica is a lover, and while we won't be working together much longer, that doesn't mean she and we, won't be loving - and comparing love notes as we navigate our lives between here and there.
You should be one proud mother of your remarkable daughter. :)
"What did I do when my heart decided it was time to move from here to there? How did I handle the pain? The discomfort? The disorientation?"
Wow, really beautiful James. You do an incredible job of capturing the vulnerability and uncertainty in those "in between" phases of life—after we take the leap, before we land. It's something I've felt before but never seen expressed so well. Thank you for sharing!
Rachel, thank you for taking the time to reply and share what you did. Yes, those times in our life between leap and landing, as you put it, are indeed vulnerable and uncertain. And as I've discovered, through not doing it very well at times - it's essential to keep your heart open.
I once heard a saying that God breaks your heart as many times as it takes in order for you to keep it open all the time. :)
Rachel, thank you for the link. I’m on my way to Hawaii for a week and it will be the perfect time to listen and improve my practices for keeping my heart open :)
WOW. James, this is such a lyrically beautiful way of showing how love – and life itself – can be a double-edged sword ... but only if we're willing taking the risks of going from "here" to "there." You illustrate that moving forward in life isn't about pain avoidance; it's ultimately about "... your heart. Give it space. A lot of space." Indeed ...
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. Some essays take a long time to write - some less time. This was one of those that took less time to write - because I captured it immediately after our time together, but it took a lot of time to beautify - to do our reverent conversation justice.
Again - thank you for subscribing and reading. See you in Write Hearted :)
“By allowing your heart to break, even when your pain wants to piece it back together,” I replied. “And by keeping your heart open when every ounce of you wants to close it.”
Wow.
There's so much to feel here. I've been both of these characters and your writing gave just enough space to tell the story and allow self-reflection.
Claire, thank you again for the insightful comment - about being both roles. As we move through life, we certainly do take turns occupying the different seats don’t we?
I find that the aim is not to try and judge or blame while sitting in either seat, but to love and trust. ❤️
This morning, I read your piece for the second time, after yesterday, giving it some space, and I was moved to tears again. I know I will return to this in the future too, James, as you found the words to describe this familiar pain and love between and at the 'here and there.'
“It takes courage. And faith. And a willingness to befriend the pain.”
Brigitte - thank you for your generous and kind comment. Another reader got back to me and said that moving from here to there with courage is the motor of living. I liked that.
As you point out - at almost 60, I've come to understand that where there is love, there is pain and grief. And they too, are to be befriended.
I appreciate your readership and connection Brigitte.
Oh my goodness, there’s so much here. First: “Let’s both thank the sacred silence.” I love to stories about coming to trust the silence and the wisdom that flows through us during it. Second: the wisdom that came through this time. “You can’t separate love from pain. They form the rhythm of the heart.” Thank you for this beautiful story and teaching, James!
Kelly, I'm almost 60 years old, and it's taken me most of my lifetime to learn to trust the silence, to listen for its wisdom, and to use what I hear as a source for living. That Jessica, at her very young age, can do the same already - is extraordinary. Thank you again for being who you are.
What a moment to spotlight: the here and there facing Jessica, the here’s and there’s that you’ve faced, and offering a roadmap for us to navigate the here’s and there’s that we’ve all surely encountered. Thanks for this piece James
Dan, thank you for reading and the insightful comment. Another reader sent back a reply saying that the heres and theres are the motor of our lives. We will ongoingly encounter them as you say.
I hope you’ve been well and you are succeeding in turning down the “there’s” offered by others that aren’t right for you right now 😊
James, the profound depth of gratitude expressed here by Jessica’s parents is a testament to your character and wisdom, not just as a boss and mentor for Jessica, but as a spiritual teacher with the presence of mind to send her forward with love despite your loss.
What an extraordinary gift you gave her. What remarkable integrity you have as an executive, as a man, as a human being.
This is a powerful reminder that love doesn’t pack up and come with us when we move to a new location. It spreads out as we do, touching everyone in our path, reminding us of the best in ourselves, leaving a trail of light.
It’s hard to express how much I appreciate this depth of integrity.
It’s also beautifully written as always. I’m so happy you published this.
Kathy, Your words are like an essay back to me. Thank you for helping me see, at an even greater depth than I wrote, that when our love spreads out, between here and there, everywhere, it leaves a trail of light.
And thank you for acknowledging Jessica's parents. To hear from them and feel what they expressed was unexpected and fills me with joy.
Jack - thank you so much for taking the time to offer back your thoughts. I truly appreciate them. And....to think we both published a piece in the same week!
I'm sorry about your physical setbacks but in true Jack form, you're befriending them, learning from them, and using them to teach us :)
Tommy, Thank you for who you are and your contribution to making the essay as beautiful as it could be. I'm proud of it, and am glad it's out in the world now.
I loved collaborating with you and appreciate you being in the readership. :)
Beautiful and poetic James. Poetic in its ability to put into words something indescribable. I am fueled by the idea of Jessica spreading your open hearted business style and you having been forever touched by her grace.
Zoe, what a beautiful reply. Jessica will indeed spread her open heart to many others. She's so very special and I have indeed been touched by her (as have you) in many ways. :)
This was stunningly beautiful James. In keeping with the theme, I'm speechless. Your writing is incredible, the story is deeply meaningful, and the words spoken by you and Jessica are profound. Thank you for sharing this.
Alex, thank you pal. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to describe the impact the essay had on you. It was an unexpectedly unique and special conversation. My father used to tell me, “God works in mysterious ways.” That’s the way it was.
This has really moved me, James. I particularly love this: “You can’t separate love from pain. They form the rhythm of the heart,” I said. “And if you keep your heart open and touch lives with your love when you go there, you never really leave here because your love remains, growing in everything and everyone.”
I love how much space and permission you're both giving each other, for everything... for the love and the pain. It's such a beautiful moment. It's not surprising to me that you've created such a wonderful team and place to work—no doubt something that will inspire Jessica as she builds her own business, carrying all that love forward. Thanks for the wonderful read, as always.
Rob, I so appreciate you and what you most reasonable with as a reader.
Like me you’re old enough to know you can’t eliminate the pain, and amplify the love in life, despite thinking we can while young. But we can befriend both while understanding they are two sides of the same coin. And I do believe that the pain does fertilize the love in some way.
Thanks again pal. I look forward to hanging together in WH sometime soon and being of service to you and your writing.
Wow and wow. The tears started coming part way through and didn't stop til the end. Beautiful. Simply beautiful. This is really suburb writing--you take us through a very specific experience, but it also touches on the universal. I found it reverberating with my own experience--most recently when a good friend moved to Seattle. Years after we're still trying to hold the here and there of that. I'm sending a copy to her. If a can comment from a retired psychologist's perspective, ;), this is so emotionally evolved and sophisticated! I'd like to think I helped others hold the here and there of big life choices like you did with Jessica, but I don't know . . . It's much easier to deal with change when it's a matter of leaving a toxic or limiting situation in hopes of something better but to trade good for good simply because it's what we need to do--that's challenging! Thank you for leading the way there oh wise one!
Oh, Mardi, Thank you for taking the time to reply and share how the essay landed on you. I might contend it's easier to write about a seminal moment like I did, than it is to be a resource like you have been to hundreds of individuals who entrusted themselves to you to help them navigate the very choppy and sometimes life-threatening waters of their lives.
One reader commented back that moving from here to there is the motor of life. :)
I'm so grateful for you and Bob and that we've been in each other's lives for the past almost two decades! We've navigated many here's and there's together and we'll no doubt partner on many more :)
"I wondered if this was the first time she’d broken a heart to honor hers." Pffff. Great thought.
Next up — "The Unbearable Distance between Becky and Sharla";)?
Much love for the shout and thank you for sharing this one as I have a feeling I'll be coming back to it for years to come.
Michael - that sentence you picked out - it was like I was witnessing the pen write it as it came up from inside me, and then through me. It was one of those magical moments when there was no brain function or thinking involved.
Thank you again for your contribution to me over the past year. I'm deeply grateful.
“Mind blown” are two words that describe my mindset after reading your article. What a great gift you have been given to articulate your thoughts and feelings so well. Wowzers, I was locked in start to finish as I began reading.Thank you thank you and more Thank you’s a million times over. Coming from the Dad point of view (Yes that’s me:), what a huge blessing in my life to have you mentor and love this fun kid (I know she’s not a kid ;), that I like to call mine. I truly am grateful that God has blessed her with the opportunity to engage with you and Travis. Such great men who have totally helped in her quest of life. No question in my mind that the “life lessons” you have taught her will truly be with her forever. One day I hope to meet with you in person, shake your hand, Bro hug, and express my gratitude to you of being a great example of practicing what you preach.-Jess’s Pops:)
Russ, First, thank you for bringing Travis into the mix. He is an amazing human being full of so much love that you can't help but be more loving just being around him.
While you commented on us being mentors to Jessica, I assure you it's been mutual and equal. We learn continuously from her. I was called an old soul at a young age. I can't hold a candle to Jessica in that regard. We call her a unicorn at work - just so you know.
I look forward to that big hug someday - after all a remarkable daughter comes from remarkable parents.
Much love to you Russ.
This was so beautiful! Thank you so much for showing us into the window of our daughter’s life that day!
We knew this change in her life was devastating. The way you described it was as if we were there with her watching her heart break as she moves on to what she felt was right for her family.
We are so thankful she was able to work with such kind and compassionate people.
Because of your firm we know she was able to develop in ways she could only have done there.
Thank you so much for the beautiful words you shared with her on that very difficult day. They were truly inspiring!
You truly could have helped heal or break her heart at that moment.
Thank you so much for your compassionate heart! With love, Jessica’s Mom
Amy - You are so welcome. The conversation Jessica and I shared that morning was so reverent, as we discovered our way through love and pain while being in the presence of and guided by the Divine.
The opportunity during our one precious lifetime is to love and to spread our love. And then while spreading love, to receive it as well.
Jessica is a lover, and while we won't be working together much longer, that doesn't mean she and we, won't be loving - and comparing love notes as we navigate our lives between here and there.
You should be one proud mother of your remarkable daughter. :)
"What did I do when my heart decided it was time to move from here to there? How did I handle the pain? The discomfort? The disorientation?"
Wow, really beautiful James. You do an incredible job of capturing the vulnerability and uncertainty in those "in between" phases of life—after we take the leap, before we land. It's something I've felt before but never seen expressed so well. Thank you for sharing!
Rachel, thank you for taking the time to reply and share what you did. Yes, those times in our life between leap and landing, as you put it, are indeed vulnerable and uncertain. And as I've discovered, through not doing it very well at times - it's essential to keep your heart open.
I once heard a saying that God breaks your heart as many times as it takes in order for you to keep it open all the time. :)
Again, thank you for taking the time to reply.
Yes I totally agree with the concept of keeping your heart open—though much easier said than done as you mentioned!
If you like content in that vein, this relationship coach does a great job laying it out in my opinion: https://www.instagram.com/james_fish_gill?igsh=bzh1dDF6cnM1MW0=
Rachel, thank you for the link. I’m on my way to Hawaii for a week and it will be the perfect time to listen and improve my practices for keeping my heart open :)
WOW. James, this is such a lyrically beautiful way of showing how love – and life itself – can be a double-edged sword ... but only if we're willing taking the risks of going from "here" to "there." You illustrate that moving forward in life isn't about pain avoidance; it's ultimately about "... your heart. Give it space. A lot of space." Indeed ...
Larry, yes, a lot of space :)
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. Some essays take a long time to write - some less time. This was one of those that took less time to write - because I captured it immediately after our time together, but it took a lot of time to beautify - to do our reverent conversation justice.
Again - thank you for subscribing and reading. See you in Write Hearted :)
Put simply, your essay is one of the most brilliant I've read on Substack. And I've read some damn good ones.
Humbled and honored Larry 🙏
“By allowing your heart to break, even when your pain wants to piece it back together,” I replied. “And by keeping your heart open when every ounce of you wants to close it.”
Wow.
There's so much to feel here. I've been both of these characters and your writing gave just enough space to tell the story and allow self-reflection.
Beautifully done, James.
Claire, thank you again for the insightful comment - about being both roles. As we move through life, we certainly do take turns occupying the different seats don’t we?
I find that the aim is not to try and judge or blame while sitting in either seat, but to love and trust. ❤️
This morning, I read your piece for the second time, after yesterday, giving it some space, and I was moved to tears again. I know I will return to this in the future too, James, as you found the words to describe this familiar pain and love between and at the 'here and there.'
“It takes courage. And faith. And a willingness to befriend the pain.”
Brigitte - thank you for your generous and kind comment. Another reader got back to me and said that moving from here to there with courage is the motor of living. I liked that.
As you point out - at almost 60, I've come to understand that where there is love, there is pain and grief. And they too, are to be befriended.
I appreciate your readership and connection Brigitte.
Oh my goodness, there’s so much here. First: “Let’s both thank the sacred silence.” I love to stories about coming to trust the silence and the wisdom that flows through us during it. Second: the wisdom that came through this time. “You can’t separate love from pain. They form the rhythm of the heart.” Thank you for this beautiful story and teaching, James!
Kelly, I'm almost 60 years old, and it's taken me most of my lifetime to learn to trust the silence, to listen for its wisdom, and to use what I hear as a source for living. That Jessica, at her very young age, can do the same already - is extraordinary. Thank you again for being who you are.
It gives hope for humanity, James. May wisdom start trending among the young. 😊
What a moment to spotlight: the here and there facing Jessica, the here’s and there’s that you’ve faced, and offering a roadmap for us to navigate the here’s and there’s that we’ve all surely encountered. Thanks for this piece James
Dan, thank you for reading and the insightful comment. Another reader sent back a reply saying that the heres and theres are the motor of our lives. We will ongoingly encounter them as you say.
I hope you’ve been well and you are succeeding in turning down the “there’s” offered by others that aren’t right for you right now 😊
James, the profound depth of gratitude expressed here by Jessica’s parents is a testament to your character and wisdom, not just as a boss and mentor for Jessica, but as a spiritual teacher with the presence of mind to send her forward with love despite your loss.
What an extraordinary gift you gave her. What remarkable integrity you have as an executive, as a man, as a human being.
This is a powerful reminder that love doesn’t pack up and come with us when we move to a new location. It spreads out as we do, touching everyone in our path, reminding us of the best in ourselves, leaving a trail of light.
It’s hard to express how much I appreciate this depth of integrity.
It’s also beautifully written as always. I’m so happy you published this.
Kathy, Your words are like an essay back to me. Thank you for helping me see, at an even greater depth than I wrote, that when our love spreads out, between here and there, everywhere, it leaves a trail of light.
And thank you for acknowledging Jessica's parents. To hear from them and feel what they expressed was unexpected and fills me with joy.
I'm grateful for you.
Beautiful writing from a man whose perspective and way of being in this world I truly admire. Thank you for sharing with us, James.
Jack - thank you so much for taking the time to offer back your thoughts. I truly appreciate them. And....to think we both published a piece in the same week!
I'm sorry about your physical setbacks but in true Jack form, you're befriending them, learning from them, and using them to teach us :)
Such a beautiful piece James. I'm so happy this got published and others can read it now. Your writing continues to evolve in deep and profound ways.
Tommy, Thank you for who you are and your contribution to making the essay as beautiful as it could be. I'm proud of it, and am glad it's out in the world now.
I loved collaborating with you and appreciate you being in the readership. :)
Beautiful and poetic James. Poetic in its ability to put into words something indescribable. I am fueled by the idea of Jessica spreading your open hearted business style and you having been forever touched by her grace.
Zoe, what a beautiful reply. Jessica will indeed spread her open heart to many others. She's so very special and I have indeed been touched by her (as have you) in many ways. :)
This was stunningly beautiful James. In keeping with the theme, I'm speechless. Your writing is incredible, the story is deeply meaningful, and the words spoken by you and Jessica are profound. Thank you for sharing this.
Alex, thank you pal. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to describe the impact the essay had on you. It was an unexpectedly unique and special conversation. My father used to tell me, “God works in mysterious ways.” That’s the way it was.
Again, I appreciate you Alex.
This has really moved me, James. I particularly love this: “You can’t separate love from pain. They form the rhythm of the heart,” I said. “And if you keep your heart open and touch lives with your love when you go there, you never really leave here because your love remains, growing in everything and everyone.”
I love how much space and permission you're both giving each other, for everything... for the love and the pain. It's such a beautiful moment. It's not surprising to me that you've created such a wonderful team and place to work—no doubt something that will inspire Jessica as she builds her own business, carrying all that love forward. Thanks for the wonderful read, as always.
Rob, I so appreciate you and what you most reasonable with as a reader.
Like me you’re old enough to know you can’t eliminate the pain, and amplify the love in life, despite thinking we can while young. But we can befriend both while understanding they are two sides of the same coin. And I do believe that the pain does fertilize the love in some way.
Thanks again pal. I look forward to hanging together in WH sometime soon and being of service to you and your writing.
Wow and wow. The tears started coming part way through and didn't stop til the end. Beautiful. Simply beautiful. This is really suburb writing--you take us through a very specific experience, but it also touches on the universal. I found it reverberating with my own experience--most recently when a good friend moved to Seattle. Years after we're still trying to hold the here and there of that. I'm sending a copy to her. If a can comment from a retired psychologist's perspective, ;), this is so emotionally evolved and sophisticated! I'd like to think I helped others hold the here and there of big life choices like you did with Jessica, but I don't know . . . It's much easier to deal with change when it's a matter of leaving a toxic or limiting situation in hopes of something better but to trade good for good simply because it's what we need to do--that's challenging! Thank you for leading the way there oh wise one!
Oh, Mardi, Thank you for taking the time to reply and share how the essay landed on you. I might contend it's easier to write about a seminal moment like I did, than it is to be a resource like you have been to hundreds of individuals who entrusted themselves to you to help them navigate the very choppy and sometimes life-threatening waters of their lives.
One reader commented back that moving from here to there is the motor of life. :)
I'm so grateful for you and Bob and that we've been in each other's lives for the past almost two decades! We've navigated many here's and there's together and we'll no doubt partner on many more :)